Misbelief: What Makes Rational People Believe Irrational Things

Misbelief: What Makes Rational People Believe Irrational Things by Dan Ariely

During Covid, Dan Ariely got attacked by those opposed to Covid policy. He had given some satirical discussion about healthcare that were taken out of context and used as bait. His "half beard" made him recognizable and subject to ridicule by those that did not like current Covid policy. Many of these people would latch on to "conspiracy theories" and could not be convinced otherwise. Ariely attempted to find out what drove people to believe irrational things.

There seemed to be a pattern to "misbelief." People would start with some objection. They may feel wronged or didn't like how things were happening. Then they would go online and after a few searches they would find some sites that seemed to support their position. Then they would dig deeper. Other sources would provide deeper validation. These would often start with some degree of credibility, but be missing certain features of respectability. (It may be something that looks like a medical organization, but is actually just a propaganda group.) Then people find their community. Others support their belief and provide the support they need. The community members often have an outward portrayal of intellectual humility, but inwardly are not willing to change their own mind, but they want others to change their mind. They see others that change their mind or even align with the enemy as outcasts. That makes them unwilling to change their own minds even if they realize they may be mistaken.

The book focuses on the fringe misbelievers. However, the same symptoms are present throughout society. Even in science, the orthodoxy may be insular and not intellectually humble enough to accept changes. Most conspiracy theories start with at least some grain of truth. When mainstream thought accepts falsehoods as a way of getting its point across it opens up the conflict. During the outset of Covid, government officials initially said masks were not useful and that schools should stay open. Later officials pivoted, despite the science not changing. Officials knew that masks helped slow the spread, but used falsehoods to preserve the supply. They also knew it was best to keep schools open due to past pandemic experience. However, they ended up closing them in the name of stopping the spread more due to emotional appeals. "Science" was used to back up what were primarily political decision. Science against the orthodoxy was discredited. This forced many "underground" and did more to harm outcomes. (If the government had lied about lockdowns, why trust them regarding vaccines?) Today, we often see any extreme weather event blamed on climate change even if there is not justification. Is this attempt of public persuasion just enabling climate change denial?

The Science of Second Chances: A Revolution in Criminal Justice

The Science of Second Chances: A Revolution in Criminal Justice by Jennifer Doleac

We are wasting a lot of time and money with criminal justice policies that don't work. Meanwhile, cheap solutions are staring us in the face and not being followed. The author is an equal opportunity critic, with many favorite right wing and left wing policies criticized. Mostly using natural experiments, she studies various measures and finds those that work and those that don't work. Most of the results seem counter-intuitive, such as the fact that children of incarcerated parents tend to be better off than children in similar situations where the parent is not incarcerated.

Left wing policies to help those stuck in the crime cycle often do not help. Baning the job application "checkbox" for crimianl convications makes it harder for ex-cons to find jobs, especially if they are black. Heavy wrap-around programs on release result in higher recidivism rates. Being "soft on crime" doesn't help the criminal or society. Right wing policies like broken-windows policing and strict monitoring and cutting off food stamp eligibility for food stamps hurt.

What helps? Letting first time offenders off easy does not disrupt their lives and results in fewer repeat offenses. Going through the process of getting arrested is often enough of a negative experience. Adding everyone to a DNA database, even after the most minor offenses also reduces the likelihood of future crimes. Electronic monitoring instead of more time in jail helps. Giving criminals more money when released and keeping them eligible for social welfare programs works. Requiring sobriety checks to maintain release encourages treatment programs.

In general, we should have consequences for criminal activity. These should be expected and consistent. They should also only escalate with repeat offenses. Prison is a huge disruption for people's lives and should be used only when needed. Very focussed efforts should be made to reintroduce them to society. On release, it is best to fully integrate in society, separate from other former prisoners. Don't try to solve all problems at once.

The proposed solutions tend to anger those vested in certain schemes. Is this a case of those benefiting from the status quo wanting to keep their funding rather than do what is best society? 

The Book of Disquiet

The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa, translated by Richard Zenith

The book is structured as the random thoughts of a Portuguese bookkeeper and aspiring writer. Though the author died in 1935, this book was not published until 1982. He muses on the culture and the life, providing armchair discussions of history and philosophy. He explores the concepts of joy and culture. The religion that served as the base of society was cut down, leaving nothing much in its place. Postmodernism is seen as just "anti" without any strong coherence to itself. Are dreams or reality better? The book has little organization, but is filled with interesting thoughts.

Football

Football by Chuck Klosterman

Football is the most popular sport in the United States. It dominates the TV ratings. The USA vs. Belgium world cup soccer game was the top rated non-NFL sports broadcast, and didn't come close to NFL playoff ratings. It was even behind two Thanksgiving day broadcasts. The Super bowl is always the most popular TV broadcast. Even Canadians are more likely to watch the super bowl than the Canadian Football Grey Cup Championship. The "defects" of football work to its advantage. There is intense action and then a lot of time to figure out what happened. The full game cannot be played casually. The "casual" versions like flag football are fundamentally different.

Football's great popularity is sowing the seeds of its downfall. College football is professionalizing, reducing the strong attachments that students would have to their team. At the lower levels, the dangers are driving parents away from letting their kids play. Outside the south, high school football has become less important. Football is dominating casual fans, but not producing new die hards. It is a conservative bastion in a liberalizing world. People will eventually lose interest and move on to something else. Horse racing was once an extremely popular spectator sport. Today, it is shadow of itself with a few niche events remaining. In the past horses were part of everyone's regular life. Not so anymore. Other dangers could impact football. A death on the field remains a possibility. Sports gambling is helping to increase interest now, but could also create issues. Professional football only surpassed baseball in the 1960s as the most popular American sport. Today, soccer is closing the gap among youth. How much longer will football dominate?

A Doll House

A Doll House by Henrik Ibsen

This play was a lot better than I remember it in high school. Nora is a ditzy materialistic housewife. She seems very excited about the promotion to bank manager her husband Torvald is about to receive. He chastises her for plotting to spend it before he has started to receive it. She has three kids, but likes to have the hired-help take care of them. She likes to buy presents for others, but just presents for herself. An old friend comes to town. She has been divorced and needs a job. Nora pulls some strings with her husband to secure a job at the bank. However, this ends up causing things to unwind for her. To give a job to her friend, her husband is letting Krogstad go. Nora had received a loan from Krogstad with a forged signature from her dying father. Krogstad holds this against her. (Nora had taken out the loan to help her husband convalesce in the south.) Nora doesn't want her husband to find out. However, he reads the letter from Krogstad and flips out. He is more concerned for himself than for Nora. Then when he receives the paid off note, he is happy again. It is Nora's turn to flip out and decide she will leave them to be independent.

Nora is quite unreliable and is prone to take things to extreme. I wasn't sure that she had really taken out the loan. Was she just exaggerating to feel better with her friends? When it appeared she did take out hte loan, she went to extremes to hide it from her husband and prevent it Krogstad from doing negative things. There was a lot of toeing around issues to try to get what was needed. Then when it came to that she did it, she flipped out and decided to drop her life and not live in a "Doll House". They both seem to delight in controlling each other. There seemed to be some love in the relationship, but also some mutual manipulation. They both were most interested in caring for themselves. Nora also came from a family with some not-so-good characters. Is the rash behavior and familial abandonment just another case of this behavior? The L.A. Theater Works production was well done with some great actors. This helps the play come alive.

Boring Asian Female

Boring Asian Female by Canwen Xu

This reminded me of Best Offer Wins. In both cases, an Asian American lead is driven to succeed in the way she understands the American Dream, but goes off the rails. 

In this book, Elizabeth Zhang is in her last year at Columbia, getting ready to go to law school. She grew up in South Dakota with hard-working immigrant parents. She was the only Asian at her high school and never quite fit in. She went to Columbia because that was were the snobby elite in a TV show went. She had her mind set on attending Harvard Law school to achieve the life of wealth and prosperity that other classmates seemed to have. Then she learns she didn't get into Harvard Law, or any law school other than Georgetown. She also hears that another Asian female, got into Columbia. When Elizabeth talks with the pre-law advisor, the. feedback is that she has a good application, but that she is a "boring" Asian female. Then she seadil goes off the deep end.

She is convinced that Laura stole the spot at Harvard Law. She starts stalking Laura. She impersonates a high schooler to learn more about Laura. She even asks to be called Laura when making love. Then things get worse. She hatches a plan to get Laura's admission rescinded. She publishes an anonymous far-right blog in a way that would be identified as Laura. However, people eventually trace it to the male student whose login she used to publish it. He ends up dropping out of school, only to later become a right wing commentator. Elizabeth finds out she is pregnant. After getting money from the guy for an abortion, she decides instead to have the kid, so she can be less boring. She later sneaks into Laura's dorm, but Laura comes home (with limited mental functionality due to substance use.) After Laura finally realizes everything Elizabeth has done, Elizabeth sprayed her with pepper spray and got away. Laura dies from the spray. (she had a heart condition). Elizabeth showed no remorse, and was fine when another girl was charged with the manslaughter death. Elizabeth has a miscarriage. She later impersonates Laura in the Harvard law admit group. She has a big breakdown when the group calls her out as not being a real future student. After recovering, she gets a call from Harvard, letting her know there was an error with her score reporting and that she was now being offered a spot. 

Previously, Harvard said the decision was final and there was no way to validate the data. If only they hadn't Elizabeth would not have gone wacko. However, she showed clearly that she would do anything to have her desired success. Is this really the type of person you would want? The steps seemed logical, but the results were horrid. Is this an indictment of an over-driven Asian culture? The narrative was compelling and the characters. were interesting,  though I really wanted to see her charged rather than end up with her dream.

The Vanishing Church: How the Hollowing Out of Moderate Congregations Is Hurting Democracy, Faith, and Us

The Vanishing Church: How the Hollowing Out of Moderate Congregations Is Hurting Democracy, Faith, and Us (Why Culture Wars Led to Polarization and What It Means for the Future of Religion in America) by Ryan P. Burge

At one time, mainline protestant churches were community institutions. They represented a cross-section of the community, with different political beliefs. Today these churches are rare. Evangelical churches have risen up and are tightly associated with the right. Born Again and Evangelical are associated with politics as much as they are with religion. (There are even cases of non-religious or other religions adopting those terms.)

While right wing is associated with religious, left wing has been more associated with agnostic. There is a dearth of the "middle". The churches that could appeal to everyone have been dying off. Many small towns have lost their churches. People with fall away from churches due to political beliefs. There are also few avenues for people who are honestly questioning. Churches have represented multiple things. They are provide community, service, moral guidance and spirituality. With them falling away, society is at a loss.

The Girl With All the Gifts

The Girl with All the Gifts by M. R. Carey

A fungus wiped out most of the population and turned those in contact with it into zombies. A few other "off the grid" humans managed to survive, but would fight against other groups. There were also some military groups that survived and are studying it in a lab. They are studying some kids that have been exposed to the fungi, yet still function as normal humans. The lead researcher is portrayed in a negative light throughout the book. This sets up the conclusion where they realize the best course of action is to let the funga do a massage spore release that will wipe out the current state of humanity and lead to a future human/fungi symbiosis. The narrative flows very well and stays interesting, even as it presents a non-standard conclusion to the post-apocalyptic zombie tale.

Source Code: My Beginnings

Source Code: My Beginnings by Bill Gates

Bill Gates had the perfect childhood to set himself up to launch Microsoft. His parents were dedicated to their family, but gave their children significant autonomy. His mom was highly involved in community organizations and had many connections. His father was a lawyer. There were entrepreneurs in his family tree as well as a doting grandma that helped teach logical thinking through games. He enjoyed learning what he wanted to learn and struggled in school and socially. He would have been diagnosed on the autism spectrum today. His parents didn't give up on him or try to force him in a certain path. They had him engage in common youth activities. They let him learn on his own terms. He ended up enjoying some of the "punishments" he received in school (such as working in the library.) His parents helped him to "fall up" out of the public school to attend private Lakeside school. There he was able to find another socially awkward friend as well as other "geeks" who would help found Microsoft.

Lakeside was one of the few places that had a computer for students to access. Gates was drawn to the computer. He would spend time thinking in code and how to program. Through connections, he and some friends were able to get access to other computers at companies and the University of Washington. He had friends in older grades, such as Paul Allen that could get access. They were able to work on business projects finding bugs and coding - all while still in high school. Their parents helped support them as well as get them further connections. He was able to get into Harvard and explore other academic interests. There he met others with complementary skills. Then the first real home computer came out. He and his friends had experience and created a basic interpreter. They were able to sell it and create an appropriate contract that would help them defend their rights. They would later be able to defend their rights to allow the company to continue. 

Bill Gates was at the right place at the right time and had the proper support as well as the personal interest and drive to keep with his company. There are so many ways that Microsoft could have failed to be, yet it somehow managed to be the behemoth it is today.  

Why Nothing Works: Who Killed Progress—and How to Bring It Back

Why Nothing Works: Who Killed Progress—and How to Bring It Back by Marc J. Dunkelman

Progressivism is torn between individual autonomy and the desire for big government solutions. The current result is massively expensive projects that can be easily be derailed by the simplest thing. 

Big Projects reached their zenith during the age of Robert Moses. He had the wherewithal and the budget to do just about anything. He rammed freeways through residential neighborhoods with little regard to who lived there or what they needed. He decided parkways should be for cars and not buses. He built beaches and other amenities with particular people in mind. He got things done. At first, people were happy with the benefits they saw from his megaprojects. The people complaining were seen to be in the way of progress. Eventually his plans got in the way with those in power. This led to greater restrictions on what could be done.

Today things of turned far in the other way. Environmental impact statements require development to explore various different negative impacts of a project. These stretch much beyond the ecological environment to different peoples and groups. Projects are looked at through an equity lens to ensure that some groups are not disproportionately hurt. There are many veto points in the process. There are also many opportunities to file lawsuits to halt a project. Projects often balloon in cost in order to respond to all these complaints. Perversely, wealthy people with deep pockets are most able to stop projects. You can see in Seattle where there are freeway lids over the rich suburbs, but not in the dense city where they would be most useful. The process also favors the status quo. An existing project that harms many people, but benefits a few is hard to change. Even if the benefits would greatly outnumber the harms it is difficult to make changes due to few people that would be impacted by the changes.

The book explores the conflicting Jeffersonian and Hamiltonian impulses. There is a desire for small government to let people do what they want. There is also the desire for big government to help rid society of its ills. The progressive movement has many of both combined together. They want government to protect individual rights and liberties. They also want government ro provide a safety net and implement programs to help people and to provide the needed infrastructure needed. Conservatives, too, have a mixture of both ideals. These two conflicts are what has lead to massive expenses but little benefit. As an example, we want to help the homeless, but give them full autonomy to live how they like. This results in lots of money spent, but little benefit. California would like high speed rail, but has produced almost nothing with all the time and money spent.  China was able to build a great network of high speed rail in the same time. California has been able to maintain and expand the existing freeways despite the environmental degradation caused. As a society, we expect all big organizations and government to be "perfect". Any negative caused is grounds for lawsuits. Alas, this risk aversion has also prevented much good from occuring.

Best Offer Wins: A Novel

Best Offer Wins: A Novel by Marisa Kashino

A couple in DC is trying to buy a house. Alas, they get outbid in all their offers. They want to have a family, but getting the house first is a priority. The book is told primarily from the perspective of the Asian wife. Then they hear from a friend that a house in Maryland is coming on the market. The woman decides to scope it out. She absolutely loves it. She even decides to sneak in the back yard for a look. She stays too long and almost gets caught by the owner. However, she manages to get out just in time, but does run into him. She decides she will try to get the house as a "pre-listing" transaction. She stalks the owners and discovers that they are a gay couple with an adopted Asian daughter. She  tries a yoga class that one attends.  They actually hit it off and end up getting invited to dinner. At dinner she pushes things too far about an offer and end up getting discovered and kicked out. That is still not enough. She hunts for dirt on the couple. She discovers that somebody had bad things to say about one of the men (a university professor who published a book.) She traced all the students in his program at the time to see if she could find who it was. (She had previously been a journalist, so had connections as well as desire to do it.) She travelled distances to find dirt to potentially use it against them. She found he plagiarized a student. However, the student realized that she was a fraud and didn't give her the evidence. She tried to use this against the men. However, they eventually called her bluff.

Then the novel takes a very macabre turn. She realizes that her husband had been having an affair. She kills the woman involved and takes her body to the basement of the house. She framed it as having been done by a friend of hers. (She had the friend tour the house and used the friend's car and dressed like the friend when committing the crime.) Then, right before the police were ready to catch the friend, she gave her various drugs to make it look like she committed suicide. It helped wrap everything up. It also left the house available to them as the only people willing to put in an offer. The book ends with the woman discovering another affair from her husband and makes us wonder what she will be doing.

The book is a fast moving case of desperation in a crazy housing market.

The Nightingale

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

During German-occupied France, two girls tried to live their lives. Their lives were changed with the Nazi occupation and gradually clamping down on rights. They work in different ways to help the resistance. They help guide allied soldiers to Spain to return home and also shelter Jews in their home. One is caught and spent time in a concentration camp. The book is told as flashbacks from the modern woman who is in poor health. She has not told her children much about her efforts or her the assumed name she had. Her son only learns when they are there to talk with others. This provides a bit of sentimentality towards a past life, even when it is something you would like ot have forgotten.

Automatic Noodle

Automatic Noodle by Annalee Newitz

In the San Francisco of the future, robots and humans live together in a not-quite peaceable manner. Many things, such as owning a restaurant, are reserved for humans. Some robots have been working at a restaurant when the owner disappears. They decide they would like to run the restaurant themselves. They manage to work through some technicalities to get "authentic noodle" set up. They rely on a review site to help customers find them. However, they are dependent on good ratings. Somebody later tries to review-bomb them to bring them down. This person is part of the anti-robot group. Eventually, they find them and restore their reputation. However, in the process they learn that they do not depend on the service and take pride in the "automatic noodle" name they have been given by their detractors. The book has a lighthearted approach to working together even with differences.

Tailored Realities

Tailored Realities by Brandon Sanderson

I've preferred Sanderson's science fiction work to his Cosmere mainstream. This collection does not disappoint. It contains many "short" works outside his typical universe. Many have been published in other areas. (After getting into the first one, I realized I had already read "Snapshot" before.) The length ranges from super-short flash fiction to long novella. The final work, "Moment Zero" is a new work that has Christopher Nolan vibes. A mad scientist has created a wormhole that has created a zombie apocalypse. The people that were at the scene of the wormhole creation were sent backwards and forwards in time. A couple detectives involved can somehow communicate across the timeline. They figure out what went wrong and work to push the "real" timeline to a peaceful ending.

Sanderson also includes notes for each story, often describing the genesis of the story and other important aspects. We learn that some of these stories were written as a pre-published starving author, while others were written well into his career. The "notes" are always one of my favorite parts of short story collections.

The collection includes:

1. Snapshot
2. Brain Dump
3. I Hate Dragons
4. Dreamer
5. Perfect State
6. Probability Approaching Zero
7. Defending Elysium
8. Firstborn
9. Mitosis
10. Moment Zero

The Reservation

The Reservation by Rebecca Kauffman

John Grisham has made a reservation at a fine dining restaurant in a small college town. Everyone is already a little uptight, and then things get worse. A number of steaks are missing. It seems like an inside job and the manager is trying to get to the bottom of it. Then the dishwasher breaks requiring dishes to be washed by hand. As everyone goes through challenges, we learn more about the past history of the various employees. There are plenty of rough circumstances, but there are people that care for each other. At the last minute Grisham's group cancels the reservation. They discover it was due to bad online reviews (which appear to be part of a smear campaign.) Later a mysterious guy shows up right before closing time and has some conversation with the bartender. He thinks it may have been Grisham. The book ends with the manager granting one of the most loyal employees a big raise. (He has had mental and physical issues, and wants to use it for health care.) The book is loaded with actions, despite spending just one day in one location. You can't help but fall for the many different characters.

Influence, New and Expanded: The Psychology of Persuasion

Influence, New and Expanded: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini

This is a fairly long book that details a few key principles of persuasions. The concept are very well illustrated with examples from well known figures as well as individuals. Examples include people using these as well as having these used on them. The use includes time when both parties benefit as well as those when one party clearly achieves advantage. There are also "scam" uses that can be identified so that you don't fall victim. 

Many of the principles rely on variations of reciprocity. If you give somebody something, they often feel a need to give you something back. A free sample will often encourage somebody to buy something. Doing a favor to somebody will make them more likely to do something for you. Level-setting can be a variation on this. Giving somebody a lower priced option after starting higher gives them a sense of getting a favor from you. Sending cards or remembering other people helps make them more likely to do you a favor later.

People use "shortcuts" as clues to make quick decisions. High prices are often an indicator of quality and could encourage sales - especially if they are later discounted. Long lines also indicate something that is in demand. (This is one that marketers can often "game" by paying people to stand in line.) Expert appeals are also a common shortcut, even if the expert lacks expertise in the field. "TV Doctors" often pitch medical products - even while admitting they just play one on TV. A scientist's opinions are often valued by the public - even in fields outside their expertise.

Urgency can be used and abused. If it is the last item, you may be worried about the fear of missing out. (This is also an area that is often faked.)

People also like to be internally consistent. They have a desire to do something that is morally correct. Scammers can often take advantage of this to get people (especially elderly) to "correct" what seems to be a problem.

Group connection is another factor that can help persuade. In World War II, the Jews helped seek protection in Japan by appealing to their mutual history as "Asians". Salespeople will often do best when selling to people within their same group (whether it be ethnicity, religion, or even college attended.) Some salespeople are especially good at finding similarities to help sell. (This can also backfire if group is not quite right.) In one example, a door to door salesman would mention neighbors he sold to. He was able to further maximize by "matching". If he was selling to a couple, he would mention another couple. If he was selling to a housewife, he would just mention another housewife. This helped make the purchasers feel more willing to make the decision at the time.

The more commitments involved in a group, the greater the attachment. "Hazing" helps increase the ties to a group due to the work and challenge involved. Society now works at stopping hazing. However, this may just lead to it going underground or involving other ways to have this relationship.

The persuasion principles seem simple, but can be more complex in practice. The author gives many examples where he has fallen victim to persuasion tactics - even knowing that they exist. We may know various tactics, but it takes work to practice them authentically.

Is He Nuts?: Why a Gay Man Would Become a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ

Is He Nuts?: Why a Gay Man Would Become a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ by Dennis Schleicher

The author had an interesting childhood. His mother tended to get angry and then later calm down. They at first didn't go to church, then they started attended. Later his family would switch to "born again" church that he was not fond of. His relationship with them was significantly damaged by this experience. He later came out as gay and was beat up for it at school. He ended up telling this story on talk shows. He became a gay rights activist and worked in retail cosmetic related fields. He eventually left to do multi-level marketing sales for some company connected to Utah. He had been feeling the urge to return to a church, especially after his brother died of drug overdose. He did not think the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was accepting to gays. However, he met many members of the church that were fine with him how he was. He joined that church despite seeming contradictions with lgbt culture. He had struggles, but felt the love of the lord. There were some people that do or say things that seemed offensive, but often it was just a case of misunderstanding.

The book has a strong message, but does take a bit to get there. He does work in sales, so there does seem to be a bit sheen shielding what are deep felt feelings and passion. His is not a common or easy path. It does seem to go against common culture norms. However, it is not impossible. Catholic priests have been celibate for centuries. There have been many that have failed, but most strive to keep their vows. Celibacy goes smack in the face of modern culture, but represents an extra commitment. Religion continues to say "you have power over your life". The religious concept of repentance says you can control your behaviors to what you want, even if it is hard and involves many "failures". You could spend forever waiting for society or religion changing to meet your needs. Or you could just have faith and try to follow Christ, treating all changes as bonuses. (He sees some baby steps the LDS church has done to be more LGBT friendly.) Being gay and Mormon is not an easy path. Many on the lgbt side will declare the church homophobic and declare that it is better to seek life with a same-sex partner. In the church, there will be those that will encourage traditional family life and condemn same-sex relationships. It takes great strength and faith to straddle the two and live in a way that does not seem fulfilling by either side. In his story, "coming out as religious" seemed to be even more challenging than "coming out as gay".  It is a challenging path that will probably never be easy.

The Correspondent: A Novel

The Correspondent: A Novel by Virginia Evans

Sybil Van Antwerp is a retired womens loves to communicate by writing letters. This novel is a collection of letters she was written and the responses she has received. She had previously worked as an a attorney. During that time, as a woman, she thought it best to continue clerking for a judge for most of her career. Early in the novel, the judge dies and the woman rekindles some relationships. One includes the son of a man that she did not want to show mercy to, despite the man's spouse's appeals. Sybil had just suffered the death of one of her children and was not in a condition to show mercy. (Even worse, the child died in a diving accident where she was present but not paying attention.) After seeing a newspaper article about Sybil, the man wrote some seemingly anonymous negative messages to her and even came to her her house and cut off her flowers. She had guessed who he was, and wrote a letter to him in. They shared stories and she apologized and they became friends.

There are many other anecdotes where she turned seemingly negative communications to positive. Sometimes this would involve switching communication means. (For example, she had some negative letters with the new head of the University English Department. However, they hit it off well after meeting in person.) The book falls in the "feel good" genre. Even the negative things end up turning out good. While the letters are chronological, we learn a lot about her past in the communications she shares. She has struggles with relationship with her children, as well as with various senior suitors. Her eyesight is gradually fading away. The final letters are shorter and partially filled by her new partner. (He had lived nearby and they gradually built up a strong relationship.) Her death feels somewhat sudden, but it fits well in the life of a now blind woman that we know only by her letters.

Nonviolent Communication: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values

Nonviolent Communication: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values by Marshall Rosenberg PhD

How do you communicate without resorting to attacks and various forms of violence? Some parts are straightforward. Instead of making demands, allow for gifts. Don't obligate people to do things they don't want to do. Instead, allow them to give gifts. It is also important to try to understand what somebody is really asking for. People will often express their desires in what they want other people to do. However, the real need is something below that. Why do they want people to act in a certain way? What are the needs they are trying to fulfill? Understanding these underlying needs will help to solve the problems in a nonviolent way. Getting to this place in the communication is the challenge, but also where the reward lies.

Late Admissions: Confessions of a Black Conservative

Late Admissions: Confessions of a Black Conservative by Glenn Loury

This book has a lot to unpack. It includes "Black Conservative" in the subtitle. However, he is far from the typical conservative. His most cited economic paper advocates redistributing money from the rich to the poor. (The societal benefits of the poor having a few extra dollars were found to be much greater than the losses experienced by the wealthy.) However, he also published papers against affirmative action. (A lower standard for certain groups would allow them to get through the door with less skill which would end up setting them back as they are not prepared to achieve.) At times he was embraced by the right. At times he was loved by the left. He didn't blindly adopt the beliefs of either side. Instead, he focussed on what he believed in. His beliefs were also not necessarily reflected in his actions.

He dropped out of school only to come back later. (Hence one possible positive meaning of "late admissions".) He received a PhD from MIT and later served as a tenured professor at multiple Ivy League schools. He advocated for black families to stick together, yet he he was not involved in his first son's life. He was in long term marriages, yet was also a serial philanderer. He is comfortable having erudite academic discussions as he is going to the ghetto and pursuing crack and prostitutes. (The "late admissions" could be all the confessing he does in this book about his bad behaviors and the people he has hurt.) He had been arrested on drug charges and spent time in rehab. He was nowhere near perfect and did not expect other people to be perfect. However, he does want to see people putting forth the effort to improve themselves. The book is an interesting story of the challenges in a life you cannot pigeonhole together with an interesting evolution of economic thought.