Still Born

Still Born by Guadalupe Nettel

What is motherhood? This book explores the lives of a few 30-something women. They have been devoted to their professional achievements. However, they find themselves drawn towards children. One goes through some challenges to conceive with her husband. Their doctor informs them that their child will likely not live and advocates an abortion. She decides instead to give birth at term (via a C-section.) She wants to see her baby for a bit before she dies. However, the baby lives. It has a condition that results in limited brain function. However, the baby is able to make more progress then expected. The mother has conflicting emotions. She expected the baby to die, not to live. She was prepared for that, but not taking care of it. She found others with children with similar conditions and works through therapy. The baby does make progress, but she has seizures that destroy the progress. They have a nanny that likes to be with young children (in part because she cannot have them of their own.) The mother has struggles with her family and the nanny. What are the boundaries? What about sex life with her husband? It is only through working through the challenges that she can repair her relationships and grow.

The narrator is a friend of the mother. She has a separate interaction with her neighbor. The 8-year-old child is often acting violent and screaming. The mother seems to do nothing. The narrator ignores this at first, but then befriends the family. The mother's husband had died in a car wreck. He swore a lot and that seems to be where the kid got it from. He claims to hear voices and is struggling with his demons. The narrator is able to help be a positive influence with the family, and is able to help calm the child after an exceptionally violent incident (after his mother talked about him going to other family members). She takes him in for a night and helps him board the bus away.

The focus is on the two women exercising their maternal instincts. However, there are also stories of mothers reclaiming their personal life. The mother of the violent child is finally able to go out and enjoy a night of clubbing after getting assistance with her kid. The narrator's mom resumes her life and interests that she put on hold after becoming a mother. What is the appropriate balance? Is the best mother self-sacrificing? Or does it require a mixture of self-interest? The case of the cuckoo is given as a bird that puts its eggs in another's nests to raise. The other bird cares for the bird that is not it's own. Is the bond of blood or the time together more important?