Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate

Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro

People have emotions. Even when we think we can be strictly objective, we still have emotions. Understanding this can help with negotiations and communications with others.  It is important to try to understand the other person's perspective. Big conflicts can result when we spend time responding to what we think is the other person's objections without fully understanding what their objections are. Giving words of appreciation to anyone - including our superiors - can be helpful. We can still respect status, but also acknowledge that different people can have higher status in different areas. Even when we are competing, understanding and validating the other's view can be helpful - even if we don't fully agree. Finding mutual affiliation can be beneficial. There are a number of examples, including fictional case studies with company negotiations, as well as real cases like the Peru/Ecuador negotiation over a disputed territory. There are good references in strategies to improve negotiations, as well as references to many other well-known bits of pop-psychology from Flow to the Love Lab.