White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

White Fragility is a book about race written by a liberal white woman primarily to other liberal whites. The author is in the busy of "diversity training." She encounters many "well meaning" white groups that have difficulty talking about racism. (This reminds me of the strange case in the city of Seattle where there were separate diversity classes for those identifying as white and non-white.) She does acknowledge in passing that the definition of "white" and "non-white" have been subject to change (with an example of an Italian). However, the focus is on those that are identified as "white" today.
The key takeaway is that "racism" has become demonized so badly that we have lost the real ability to make improvements. Almost nobody would go out lynching somebody merely because of their skin color. However, nearly everyone still has some internal racism. "Bad neighborhood" is often code word for "black neighborhood.". Similarly, quality of schools is often directly related to upper-income, white population. Many companies have limited minority representation. However, there exist many programs of affirmative action and equal employment. Alas, these lead to many people to complain about "reverse discrimination".
Discussions about racism often become dominated by white people. The author especially decries the "white woman's tears". The crying of a white lady has lead to lynchings of black men in the past. When somebody cries in response to a perceived racial injustice, this often leads to the focus being more on her than the injustice. In the book, the author gave a number of examples of how, even in "diversity committees", the conversation got turned to the needs of the emotional person rather than the racial issue that was being addressed. Today some of the biggest sources of racism come from the "well meaning". They try to "improve" the lives of those of a different race without fully understanding them.
Much of the advice given falls can be described as "getting along well with others." Don't use caricatures or overall generations of other people's needs. Understand where people are coming from and the differences. Acknowledge that you have ways to improve and be willing to accept criticism. The criticism part is probably the most difficult due to the hyper-sensitivity to "racism". Ironically, the diversity training industry has probably done more to foment this as everyone is afraid of being "racist". Yet, to really fight racism, we need people to admit they have some racism and be ready to make it go away. I don't think the giant "mea culpas" on social media are generally helpful, nor are the blanket "I am not racist" statements. It must be subtle acknowledgement of shortcomings and willingness to improve.