Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts - Becoming the Person You Want to Be

Adult behavior change can be very difficult. Often we go into change as optimists. However, an "improbable" event of some sort is likely to occur that helps derail us from our desired change. We also encounter various triggers that can help or hurt our prospects for change. OFten the problem we ha is that we don't follow our own boss (ourself.) We have things we want to do, but then do not follow through. There was one example of a group of high ranking executives at dinner. Somebody said that anytime somebody talked poorly (rude, mean, etc.), they had to pay $20 that would go to charity. They ended up with a lot of charity. The only person who did not have to pay was a man who had a little note written down to remember to behave himself. Similarly, little reminders can help us. Sometimes, they can be small things, like an hourly reminder to be happy when guests are over. This can make the drag of showing people the same thing again a happy experience. You are doing it not out of obligation, but as a means to have a positive, happy friendship. Other times, they are items that you want to fulfill on a longer term basis. You score yourself on how well you have done on these goals and continue to work to improve. Once it is second nature, you can drop the goals.
The book does not have any "quick fix" solutions, but instead encourages you to acknowledge challenges and continue remind yourself to work to improve.