The Self Driven Child

In listening to Self Driven Child, two thoughts went through my mind: 1. This is the parenting style that I aspire too, and 2. The school district has tried to pick and choose some of these principles, leaving education as a muddled mess.
One of the authors comes from a test-prep background. Thus, a lot of the examples are of "highly achieving" students that are stressed beyond belief trying to get into dream schools. Thus time is spent emphasizing that parents should not force children into these routes. The child that has their parents manage all the details needed to get into the good college often ends up partying hard and then dropping out. Instead, children should be given more autonomy to make their choices. Advanced schooling may not be for everyone. (One chapter in the book is even devoted to anecdotes from people who have gone down non-standard paths.)
Successful parenting (and leadership in general) involves helping people to make good choices and carry them out effectively. If we force people to do something, they do not develop the skills to make the choices in the future. They may also build up resentment and fight against what we are doing. Instead, a parent should often be more like a consultant. They are there to help the child in the process, but not dictate every detail. (However, there still are general rules and regulations that must be put in place.)
Schools also have a knack for doing many things that are not in the best interest of students. The emphasis on testing leads to students being good test takers, not good learners. External rewards motivate initial compliance, but internal reward systems are needed for long term success. Too much homework often leads to tired students rather than more learning - especially when it is of the busy-work variety.
We want children to be productive, self-driven members of society. We need to treat them appropriately. Even those with learning disabilities and special needs can be self-motivated. It just requires different behaviors.