I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times

If you want to know how the other side feels about a charged issue, you need to actually listen to them. Many people live in areas that are dominated by one political viewpoint. Their interactions with people with other beliefs are more likely to be via criticism in social media. The trick to understand the other side is quite simple. Listen. Ask questions.

It is very unlikely that you will convince somebody of the superiority of your opinions. There has even been research showing that people don't actually chose their beliefs, but have them thrust upon themselves based on their circumstances. Different values can lead to different priorities. In politics, it is even more challenging because of the limited options. You may agree with somebody on 90% of the issues. However, your top issues cause you to focus on opposite parties. We tend to make assumptions about other people, with many of these being incorrect. 

In one case, a busload of Seattle liberals went to rural Oregon to interact with a politically opposite county. It was quite an eye-opener. The rural residents often travel to cities, while the city-dwellers have little experience in the country. The rural farmers are very concerned with the Waters of the USA act, while the city dwellers had no idea what it is. Both sides had large eye-opening moments as they spent time talking and listening.

The author is the daughter of middle-class Mexican immigrants to the United States. Her parents are conservative Trump supporters. She is a moderate liberal Democrat. They have different reasons for supporting their preferred candidates. They still get along. She also worked as a journalist. At first she would focus on going through her list of questions. Then she realized that a much better story could arrive by asking questions based on the previous answer.  Finding an appropriate situation (usually in person rather not social media) to communicate openly is the best way to understand others.